Over a year after their first interview with us, the former president of Jonasland, JVTA, sits down with us at PMI, for some talk about recent happenings. This is: An Interview with JVTA: Round Two.
Good evening, Jonas.
JVTA: Good evening.
Are you biased?
JVTA: ...that's a very hard-hitting way to start the interview, isn't it? Uh, I believe that question is kind of a "catch-22", per se. See, if I were to answer no, people could claim I'm lying, and would therefore paint me as being biased towards myself. But if I say yes, that would just affirm that I am biased. So in any case, I lose either way.
Are you a philosopher or something?
JVTA: No. Why do you ask?
Why are you questioning what would happen if you answered that question.
JVTA: ...because I can.
Okay, we're getting nowhere. Next question. Recently, there has been debate on Sasha's status as a moderator. Some think Sasha should be removed, others say Sasha's doing a good job. What do you say?
JVTA: I think he could do a better job, if anything. One suggestion I agree with is the idea that the moderation stuff should be turned into a ticket method. If someone has a problem, they could open a ticket. This could solve problems priorhand and get things done quicker.
Okay, thank you for repeating Ada's idea, but I'm asking about SashaTripleUnderscore.
JVTA: Uh-huh.
...
JVTA: What?
Let's just move on. About twenty days ago, Clamlum became president of Jonasland. They have been making drastic changes to the country ever since. What are your perspectives on that?
JVTA: Well, I'm kinda okay with the whole thing. Jonasland has had some major reforms, and that could be a good thing. Y'know, the country's growing. That's good. No one's died. We haven't gone to war.
Why are you so scared of conflict?
JVTA: Because death is annoying and I used to experience it so much. Now I'm one day off 100 days without death, and that does count days where I didn't play.
What if a war were to happen right now? What would you do.
JVTA: If they're coming for me, I'd just go do something like work on a project. I hear you can get banned for killing someone while they're working on a project. But if they're not coming for me, well... someone get the popcorn for me, cause I'm not getting caught in the crossfire. Not today. I ain't 'bout to get beat to death by some angry dudes in a patrol car on their way to Thailand to dig the biggest hole in existence just to build a giant microwave.
But if a war did happen, who would you support?
JVTA: Me.
Why you?
JVTA: Am I not allowed to?
Uhh... forget about it. Now-
JVTA: Y'know, I want my funny shoes back.
The ones that Sasha took off you?
JVTA: Yes. They let me go at speed and power. I could actually get away from things. And then they were taken away because they were "illegal items", but all I did with them was get places quickly. They didn't harm anyone.
They caused lag.
JVTA: Yes, but sacrifices must be made.
Okay, and how are you gonna get them back?
JVTA: By becoming moderator!
...why?
JVTA: I dunno. Sounds like a good idea.
What would you do, though? Other than get your shoes back, what would you do?
JVTA: Create a proper appeal system. Everyone gets an appeal, no exceptions.
Okay, then what about Randy?
JVTA: There have to be exceptions.
And either way, why do you need power? You've had so much! You've run for election in two countries, you're allied with the heads of state of all three major nations, you're friends with all the admins, and yet most of your items are hand-me-downs. Why do you need more power?
JVTA: Because I don't own an electricity company.
...that's it?
JVTA: Yes.
And you can't start your own?
JVTA: Oh, good idea. Why didn't I think of that?
Well, to be fair, you are talking to yourself. You're talking to your reflection. You're looking at a mirror.
JVTA: Wha?
See, you're hallucinating.
JVTA: Huh?
JVTA: What the...
[JVTA then left the building.]
See you all in 2024 when we do round three.
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